SWIMMING
BLOOMINGTON
DIVING
WHY
DO I SWIM?
Why do I swim? These who don't swim can't understand that the pain is real everyday. Is it easier now? Not really, it's the same pain I felt the first day. It became only easier to cover greater distances in shorter periods of time. The pain is the same and I understand it always will be. I dread it and in a sense I crave it.
Why do I swim? To stay in shape, keep my health and to feel good. A partial reason I suppose is the reason of confirmation - confirmation that I am in control. Everyday I must make a choice to experience pain or remain in comfort; in order to achieve a higher goal or to give in to the bodies urging to do something else more comforting and pleasurable.
Who is in control? My body or me? Every time I swim I verify to me that I am in control and that I can be the master of my own destiny. That is why I ultimately swim. I feel guilty when I don't swim - when the body wins, swimming is a test of my strength - not just my physical - but my mental. Swimming is a challenge of my "will" of mind over matter, of me over myself. Swimming is mental conditioning as well as physical. It is therapy of the "will" for me. Each swim is success. The richest and most deeply satisfying type of success. Strange but unmistakably tied to self-discipline, self-denial and self control. In a world where I often feel helpless, victimized and controlled, swimming helps revive feelings of hope, strength and constriction that I can make a difference and I can be responsible for me. An addiction or choice, you say and you're right - there is a danger - me. So long as I control swimming and not swimming - me. Positive addiction or not the value is in choosing when the choice is gone, I become controlled and victimized again, one more thing in my life that tells me that I am in control, that I am simply a pawn of fate and circumstance. I must swim as a choice, not out of necessity or it's real value again is gone for me.
Why do I swim? I swim for success, success in the ultimate contest, the contest of me against myself.
