The Magic of Cake
Megan Knight

I believe in cake. Not only do I believe in eating cake, but I also believe that cake has magical powers. As comedian Jim Gaffigan put it, “Cake brings people together. ‘It’s Bill’s birthday today.’ ‘Who cares? You know, I never really liked him.’ ‘There’s cake in the lounge.’ ‘You know, I should stop by, just to see how he’s doing.’” As the undisputable king of the dessert jungle, cake never fails to amaze me; there are so many different kinds: vanilla cake, chocolate cake, marble cake, cheesecake, cookie cake, coffee cake (which isn’t really cake but still tastes good), lemon cake, angel food cake, ice cream cake, and the list goes on and on. No matter the kind, cake always pleases my stomach and taste buds; cake even tastes scrumptious before it reaches the oven. The batter tastes just as amazing as the baked cake, if not better! Plus, with eating cake batter one does not have to wait half an hour or however long it takes to bake the cake; as soon as the ingredients are mixed, the eating can begin! When the word “cake” is uttered, mouths salivate, stomachs start to rumble, ears perk up, and excitement mounts. Cake possesses powers over everyone.
In fact, cake is a renowned symbol of celebration in our society. What would be a birthday without cake? How about a wedding? The more I think about it, what would be a meal without cake? Let’s be realistic here: the only reason people eat meals is to get to the dessert, and since cake is the queen bee of desserts, it is safe to say that people only eat meals to get to the cake. I say all foods should be made into cake form! Think of how sales would increase, the food industry would flourish, and children would actually cheer for lima beans! Lima bean cake, that is. Throw the word onto the end of the world’s most disgusting foods and voila! People will jump out of their seats at the sound of tuna fish casserole cake! And brussels sprout cake! Foods that never got a chance to shine will now get their opportunity!
Wait; did I just say brussels sprout cake? What was I thinking? I mean, cake is great and all, but there’s no way that kind of cake would sell! I guess I just got caught up in the moment; cake is amazing after all. For future reference, I think it is safe to say that cake is an unbeatable dessert choice and should not be altered from all of its present forms. Trying to incorporate other foods into cake is like throwing a baby into a pack of wolves; people just don’t do that. In its current state, cake is perfect and serves as a worldwide symbol of celebration, accomplishment, and happiness. Cake has the ability to change lives, or at least meals. Therefore, I believe in cake.